Broken Open

"Broken Open" is one of the themes (big theme) woven into my life these days. It started with moving from an apt. where I'd lived for 10 years to a new digs up the hill from Union Square. The move unexpectedly cracked me open, shook me up, pulled out my entrenched roots. This experience of dis-ease forced me to slow down, forced me to look at parts of myself I didn't want to see or know about. I began to long for community more than ever.

As we finished the trip in Mexico, sat on the patio of the hostel in Guadalajara, I declared that the kids of the Casa had not broken me open, i.e. had not reached deep into me. But as I reached American soil, as the frustrations of group living faded away, I slowly came to realize that the entire trip had broken me open and embraced me.

Even on the plane from Guadalajara to New York City, I felt the aloofness of the American lifestyle wrap its cold fingers around me. I sat between one woman who just didn't care to talk and another who slept, but when she was awake, and plugged herself into a handheld movieplayer. I walked through the door at work on Monday noticing that most people didn't seem to care or notice that I had been gone. I asked myself, "Where is the community here? Who is going to embrace me?" They are both real and rhetorical questions. I will be sifting through the questions and answers for a long time I think.

-Andrea


Next to being in pictures, the kids LOVED to take your camera and take billions of pictures.

Work Day Feb 16th,

Many of the group were going to the lagoon yesterday with the niños. I stayed behind to get some work done. We were prepping the classrooms and the bodega to be painted. We split the Lagoon field trip into two days. Half the kids and staff yesterday and half today. I was scheduled to go today. Berta was scheduled to go yesterday. We were both a little bummed out. I decided to stay back this morning instead of going to the lagoon. I would rather one extra day with her.
We had two little boys "help out" with painting yesterday. This consisted of putting talcum powder on their face and throwing spnges at the wall. I will be honest the was just rediculous enough and made me laugh so hard that it was acctually help in the sense that they reminded me why we were there.
Matthew got a little paint chip in his eye and this laid him out the entire day. The day was a lot of work but at night we got a chance to play. We all went to El Centro and then to a yummy little taco place. We were all together and laughed and ate together celebrating Fat Tuesday.
We got back Matthew and Pete lead worship and even though Matthew was laid out all day and he and Pete didn't have time to review what they were going to do, it turned out to be very beautiful and ponient. It was a great way to wrap the night up.
By Jen Brown.

Baptism happens every day.

Monday is the official day on the Casa trip, formality, discretion, information. We made name tags with the kids. Lupita, the director, gave us the Talk and the Tour. She told our group that while the Casa started as a true orphanage, it has become more and more a catch-basin for kids who can{t find a safe place anywhere else--who are abused or neglected at home, whose parents suffer from extreme mental illness or povert. Many have been sexually abused, and it makes Lupita crazy when for no reason the kids are returned to unsafe homes from the Casa by DIF, the local version of DSS.

It was Susanna's birthday on Monday, and it seemed that no one was going to take much notice of the event, given scarcity of resources, people, money, focus. She was turning 17, but looks 13. Torivio was also having a birthday--turning 8, just like Rafe, but he looks about 5. We went to the grocery store and bought them a cake, tres leches, a gooey concoction that Mexicans (and I) adore.

We had it after the dinner of bread and raw milk that is donated by a local farmer. Susanna had been working in the kitchen, serving the meal to the younger children, but her work was done and she wandered around clutching a stuffed animal to her chest protectively, her eyes darting here and there. We made her sit next to Torivio in the place of honor of the dining room, and Pete played Cumpleaños Feliz on his trumpet, and we all sang, and put the cake down in front of the two of them, these children who have seen too much, whom people have not protected, have not celebrated. There{s a verb in Spanish--festejar. It means "to party," but it{s transitive, it takes an object: you party someone. We were partying Susanna and Torivio, something I get the feeling no one has done in a long time, maybe ever. We put the cake down in front of them, and you should have seen their faces, the spontaneous joy, the "who me? Really, me?" You should have seen their faces. I rarely cry when I come here, thinking I{m just the tour guide, but I could feel the hot tears backing up against my eyes. It was just a cake. just a cake.

Tuesday is the day on the trip when we really start to sink down into relationships, with each other and with the kids. The shyness is wearing off, the bodily functions and needs become more apparent despite our efforts to keep them private; we dig in to community.

Because the big schoolbus wasnt working, we decided to split the field trip for the medianos (the "mediums") into two, and take half to the lagoon one day, half the next day. We piled into the fifteen passenger van that my old church, second church in beverly, drove down and donated to the Casa a few years ago, and into Owens tiny rental car, with complete disregard for seatbelt laws, and drove in caravan two towns over to the place where springs emerge from underneath the mountains opposite the volcanos in this beautiful valley. The springs form an idyllic lagoon, all dappled sunlight and mossy rocks and fish in shady corners.

I was uncertain about the prudence of having so much fun so early in the trip--what about, after all, the REAL work? But when I saw those eighteen bodies go wild and jump in, off the rope swing, down the mossy sides of the lagoon, when I saw them sharing six spare tires to roll down the rapids into the next lagoon, when I put myself in a corner and saw the sun glinting off their hair, the water running down their sweet brown backs, I knew we were exactly where we needed to be.

The owner of the palapa hut where we rented tables and the privilege of an outhouse was named, aptly, jesus. He asked me if I knew jeffrey, another american. I know a lot of jeffreys, i said. this one is a pastor, he said--he brings people here to be baptized, he said. I can see why, i said, and looked again over to those children, our children, baptized themselves.

We ate ham sandwiches with avocado, pb and j (quite mysterious to them), swam and caught fish in empty soda cups and watched dragonflies and impossibly huge mariposas, butterflies, batting their wings and causing chaos in Somerville for all we know. We ate cookies and peanuts and made friends, language be darned, and jorge fell asleep on the way back in Andrea{s arms, small and frail and sweet.

The little Casa with a Big Mission

I woke up this morning at 7:00 am! I was so eager for the day. I was nervous and excited. I was not sure what to expect. I left my room and quickly got to the courtyard of the casa. There were two boys. I was desperately trying have some sort of conversation. The night before I said to a little boy, "Hola" and he told Owen (a fluent spanish speaking american), "Nosotros hablamos hola solomente." "All they say is hola." I said back, "Si, pero entiendo mas." " yes but I understand a lot." He got a little embarrassed and hid behind Owen.
Today has been wonderful. I had no expectations but if I did they would have surpassed them. We met with Lupita first thing this morning and we learned so much about the Orphanage. For one thing, though they are clearly a nonprofit and it is very hard for them to provide for all the children in their care, they still are required to pay taxes. They usually are not able to make those payments. Another tid bit that makes my blood boil, is that even though their version of DSS refers many children to the Casa when the home is not safe for the children there is no public funding which helps cover the cost of the children. Lupita is in short a saint. She is the beautiful silver haired woman who has a presence that warms whom ever she encounters. She runs the Casa. She said something a few things today that gave me chills. First she said, "When injustices are happening to children your safety no longer matters. You do everything to help that child." We asked her what is the most important thing she needs to provide the children with. She told us, "A strong spiritual life. When people have strong spirits they can get through anything. Without a strong spirit you have nothing." I wish the children could just have a little slice of hers because then they would all soar through this life.
We took a look at our jobs today.T here is a lot of work but it is all doable. After we did this and pow-wowed, we had lunch with the children....And the adventure begins! It was fantastic! They are so funny. Matthew, Mellisa, Pete, and I sat with these two boys Manuel and Alexander. They demonstrated their fine moon walking skills for us. Then I made the terrible mistake of showing them my camera can take films. Well Alexander quickly decided that Steven Spielberg was purely an armature and he was going to show everyone how it is done. After 20 mins of him having my camera I asked for it back. He looked at me with his beautiful big brown eyes and asked, in perfect English, "Please just one more?" Of course I melted and then caved. An hour later and with the encouragement of Mellisa to stay strong I asked for it back and got it. These kids have a very persuasive way about them. I work with children and it is still very difficult for me to say no.
When we were out side a little girl named Breta came to me and started a conversation. She is just beautiful. Her hair up in a ponytail and her bangs pushed just off to the side. She asked me things to get to know about me. "Como te llamas?" "Cuantos años tiene?" etc. etc. Then she asked if I had "hijos" I eagerly said yes. Mistakenly thinking this meant, do I have siblings. I told her I had two one was thirty and one was thirty-four. I then told her I was thirty-three and asked her if she had any hijos. She giggled and said "No." I later learned that what she did ask was if I had any children. So I then laughed realizing I asked this little child if she had any children.
Berta has found a special place in my heart already. We played ball today and I helped her with pull ups to impress everybody. She went to class but when she got back We shared a book in Spanish. She read and I read. It was very special and I look forward to more the rest of the week. So much magic in just one day. I think Lupita will be happy to know that I am sure all the children I met today have the spirit she was mentioning.

What a Journey!

Hello First Church!

Erica here! What an adventure we are having! We spent our first thirty six hours just getting here! First a shout out to our wonderful chauffer Cindy who transported us down to JFK in such a speedy fashion! Thanks so much Cindy! Our fast pace ended there unfortunately! After multiple delays, including one in Monterey...who knew the airport in Guadalajara randomly closes at eleven? Our flight was cancelled so we found ourselves spending the evening in a new city in Mexico! We hopped on the next flight early the next morning after two or three hours of sleep and FINALLY made it Guadalajara. Once in Guadalajara we unexpectedly found we could take a private bus to Colima comparable to what we would´ve paid for the public bus and could take it right away. We hopped in and traveled the three hours to Colima through canyons and plains and past the beautiful inactive Volcan de Nieva and the the ACTIVE Volcan de Fuego! It was a wonderful and restful ride. Despite our lack of sleep and lack of clarity regarding our plans, our group remained positive and flexible the whole time. It was a wonderful opportunity to get to know one another and experience the joys of traveling in such a big group!

Today was our first full day here. After a wonderful morning of meeting our new friends, catching up with old, we´re now taking a break while the kids head to school for the afternoon. We spent the morning practicing our Spanish with them, playing games, taking a tour of the Casa and ended with eating lunch. So far we are all setting in well here and look forward to sharing our adventures with all of you at home!

I'm joining the group in Mexico tomorrow, and I can't believe I'm up this late. Actually, yes I can. There are so many things you forget to do until the last minute...

It seems such a short time ago that I was still living in Somerville and traveled to Colima with the group back in 2008. Actually it doesn't seem that long ago that I picked up the 2006 group from the airport in Boston! Wow, time flies. All the more poignancy it gives to savoring the moments I will get to spend with old friends this coming week. Even with half-decent Spanish, communicating with the kids is sometimes hard, but their joys and frustrations help me come to terms with time, as well. I always feel so rushed at home; everything I do wants its own urgency and importance. But for these kids, time is slower. Sometimes it is endured but many times just enjoyed. But most of all it isn't for something, it just is. I need to experience that again.

REALLY have to go to bed now. The taxi for the airport comes at 4:30am. See you all soon! (realatively speaking...)

Keisa

Pre-Trip Jitters

It's the eve of my third trip to the Casa San Jose. I'm sitting in my warm(ish) apartment in Cambridge eating Chinese food and watching the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics but all I can really think about is the trip! I always start to get a little nervous the night before. I worry about leaving the cat and warm showers and my family (even though I don't live very close to most of them), so I just remind myself to think about the kids I've come to know, and love in Colima. Due to the fact that Spanish is spotty, I have to concentrate so much more on every conversation I have. I can't let my mind wander to think about random things. It's such an intense feeling when you are really present and that's how I feel when I'm at the Casa. I can't wait to be there again.

Liz